August 14, 2019
The Case of Sebastian Salzwedel
By Tobias Hrothgar
Karl and I quickly walked into the building. I called Cindy, who was sitting at the front desk:
“Cindy?”
“Sir?”
“Search Sebastian Salzwedel. Stat.”
“Certainly sir. Spell out the surname.”
“S-A-L-Z-W-E-D-E-L. In Schaffhausen, Switzerland.”
“Yes, sir. Let’s see: Salzwedel, Sebastian. Something seems strange.”
“Say it.”
“It says Sebatian slew seventy-six possessed sandwiches.”
“Possessed sand–stop. That’s spurious silliness. Is there some seperate Sebastian Salzwedel in Schaffhausen, Switzerland?”
“In the strong-smelling senescent shack, at the south side of Schaffhausen,” someone said, startling me.
“Sames! Stop sneaking!”
“Sorry!”
“That’s of small signification,” Cindy said swiftly. “Thank you, Sames. It certainly seems Sebastian Salzwedel has secluded himself inside the strong-smelling senescent shack at the south side of Schaffhausen. Some say he has a suspicious stockpile in his storehouse. There’s scant sign that the story is straing, but we should send soldiers straightaway.”
“Wait–I mean, stop,” I said to Cindy. “Send Torfis. He’s sufficient for the situation.”
“But–sir,” Cindy stuttered. “This is a serious state. Should we put it in the care of someone so simple?”
“He’s significantly more sophisticated than he seems. Send him swiftly, Cindy.”
“Yes, sir,” she said slowly.
Soon we had Torfis on Cindy’s cell.
“Salutations. So, what’s the situation?”
“It seems someone called Sebastian Salzwedel has stolen some suspicious stuff from someplace hither, and is stockpiling it in the strong-smelling, senescent shack. Your assignment is this: stop Sebastian from using said stuff for sinister schemes.”
“Yes, sir, sergeant. I’m already at the scene of said situation, scouring for this small, stingy shack, just south of the city.”
We sat for something that seemed like centuries before, subsequently, he spoke again.
“It seems I’ve certainly secured the scalawag. We’re safe.”
We sighed in satisfaction.
“Thank you for your services,” I spoke.
“It was smooth sailing. Shalom!”
Sames smiled, then vanished into sheer nothingness.
“It’s such a satisfaction to be over with that,” Cindy said.
Karl turned toward me. “Do you think you could explain what just happened? I got lost around the point with the sandwiches.”
Cover photo by Vidar Nordli-Mathisen